 Trailer Trash News Letter
Volume #1
Issue #1
To My Family and Kin;
Well howdy to ya all from down south here at
station #2;
 I’m sure ya all are awonderin how thangs are agoin
down at the trailer park and how the remodels progressin along.
We’s all getting along just fine and
pretty darn xcited bout the up comin changes we’er xpectin ta see around heres. At
first we’s all a thinking how’s bad it agoina be, but then these construction
workers come in here and just tear this place apart in two days. I was amazed. It looked
like a Texas tornado in summer time. Then it was like one of them thare UFO’s come
down and snatched them up because theys disappeared faster than a scared rabbit bein
chased by a red fox. They’s just gone and we havn’t seen hide nor hair of them
since. But we has confidence cause we knows they are professonals an they’ll have
this place dune up before ya knows it, and we’ll be happier than a small youngin
playin with firecrackas on the 4th of Juuly.
I wants ta thank that feller who sent us the
information on trailer edekit. We could’t of gottin along without it seein we’s
new to this type of down home livin. It was almighty informative, interestin, and
enlightenin ta all of us here. If ya want ta take a look ya can find it on that dang
computer of yourn under Trailer Trash Monthly. But i gotta warn ya, once ya start readin
those interestin articles ya all be hooked like a big mouth bass going for a juicy tobbaco
spittn grasshopper. Aint nothin like it.
They told us we couldnt sleep up at the big
house cause its not habitable for humans. I knows i gots a lot of bad habits cuz my wife
lets me know and sleepin is a one of my best. But i was awonderin y ya can sit in that
thar trailer for 8 to 12 hours watchn movies an lernin important stuff that we needs to
know about all them there fires we puts out everyday, but ya cant lay your pretty head
down and clost yourn eyes cause its not ritten on a piece of paper somewares. It makes no
cents to me. Someones a darn lot smarter than i is.
 Ya all should mosey on down heres and see our new
swimn hole.We’s a thinkin about doin it up real fancy an makein it into a seament
pond just like uncle Jeds, Grannys, Elly Mays and Jethro’s up theres in Beverlyhills.
Someone got the notion ta put in one of those high divin boards so’s we can practice
our belly flops for the Olympics this comin year. We all thinks its a good idear. Come on
down an bring your cutoffs and practice with us. Ya just haveta watch out for the sewer
line that goes threw the middle though. We’s a thinkin about gettin one of those
seethrew pipes so’s we can be just like one of those aquariums ya see in the big
cities. People would come from miles around just to see it. We could charge admission and
pay for the hole darn remodel and maybe even get a raise too.
The remodel is goin pretty much as we
figured fur low bid. We had some minor setbacks. So far we hadta move a couple of doorways
to get em wher they shoulda been in the first place and it’s goina cost us a few
extra more dollars for the foundation cuz someone didn’t think it was important to
check somethin they call soil compaction. I always thought that was something younguns did
in thar diapers. Anyways now if we can find a good cabinet maker that can build crooked
cabinets to match that pesky wall thats off square by 2 inches we’ll be as happy as a
hound dog chasin a slow skunk.
 Well i best be agoin now. I
gotsta get all my gear outa the pickup truck and stow it in the travel trailer for the day
cuz we aint got no lockers no more. Ya all come see us when ya can. Ifn ya needs
derections to gets here we’s located just south of Robinson Hill next to the new
swimn hole, we’ll keep the porch light on for ya so’s ya knows ifin’s
we’re a home.
Love Ya All,
Cuzin Mike,
Cuzin Rick,
Cuzin Scott once removed
Cuzin Scott twice removed
Disclaimer: Due
to political correctness and social politeness the above comments are only meant for humor
and not directed at any individual person or persons. Enjoy.
|
